Magill Counseling Associates, LLC
Magill Counseling Associates, LLC
in Ephrata, PA Ph: 717-219-5711

Direct Communication Can Save A Relationship

By - rmagill
04.03.21 07:00 PM

Jack was irritated. His boss just didn't get it. He had way too much work to do, and his boss asked him to start yet another project. He didn't know how he would handle it. He was already working overtime, and Jill was starting to complain that he was never home.

He needed to not take on the new project. But he didn't know how to tell his boss. His hints and passive-aggressiveness only got him angry looks from his boss.

He needed a different type of communication. He needed a direct conversation with his boss and his wife.

What Is Direct Communication?

Direct communication can seem intimidating, but it doesn't have to be! Direct communication is:

  • Clearly saying what our needs are and why
  • Respectfully presenting our options
  • Calmly responding
  • Refraining from verbally attacking or hurting the other person
  • Considerate of their response
  • Free to reject the conversation at any time

How Can Direct Communication Help?

When we use direct communication, we:

  • Remove uncertainty about what we want or need
  • Open the door for honest conversation around the topic
  • Make our position clear - if we are ready to quit (or even want a promotion) the other person knows where we are at
  • Provide a way to talk about goals that help both people

Back to Jack

Back to Jack.  He decided to talk to his boss about his workload. He let his boss know that he wants to take on more work, but he is already working overtime and isn't sure he can continue the quality of work if he has another project. His boss completely understood and helped him find a few ways to better manage his schedule and prioritize tasks.

He also spoke to Jill. He took responsibility for not being home too much, and explained his plan to fix his work schedule. He listened to feedback from Jill. They agreed to set apart 20 minutes each night to check in with each other.