Jack and Jill were having difficulties with their kid. It seemed like he was being extra stubborn and difficult lately.
Jack and Jill looked at each other, after sharing an exhausted sigh, and silently mouthed, "Why won't he listen anymore?! Why does he give pushback for absolutely everything? Why are simple tasks suddenly a huge battle?"
Jack and Jill's frustrations were increasing. In addition, their child was noticing the added tension, which, no surprise, added to his tension.
How Can Thankfulness Help the Family?
Thankfulness can be a powerful way to change our environment by changing our perspective. While there absolutely should be rules, expectations, boundaries, and follow through, thankfulness allows us to take a step back from the frustrations, breathe deeply, and see things with fresh eyes.
We tend to see what we expect to see, and we see more of what we've already seen. If we're expecting to see the frustration, we'll certainly find it. Our lens can get "stuck" in the frustration pattern. Thankfulness can directly counter this. When we're intentionally looking for things to be thankful for, that becomes the new lens that we start to view things through.
Practically speaking, trying to find five things each day that you're thankful for, pertaining to your child, can start to cultivate this new habit and fresh perspective. If you're able, tell your child what you're thankful for. If not, make a list for yourself of these attributes or actions that you appreciate or admire about your child.
While this isn't a quick fix or cure-all, with time, this will shift your attention away from the frustration and onto thankfulness. The focus changes from the problems to the positives.
Back to Jack...
Jack and Jill had a challenging child. Interactions were frustrating. Tensions were mounting.
So Jack and Jill decided to take a step back from the frustrations of the moment, and they started to notice all of the great things that their child was doing. They were intentional about thankfulness. They still got frustrated, but they also realized that sometimes their kid was just being a kid.
Their lens began to change. The focus wasn't on how things were going to go wrong but on how they were going right. Sure, hiccups and frustrations still happened, but then they could redirect and move on instead of becoming stuck in the negative.
Their efforts with their kid started to pay off. Jack and Jill noticed a lot of really great qualities in their child that they hadn't seen before when they were locked in the lens of frustration. In turn, their child responded positively to their affirmation and encouraging words.
Cultivating thankfulness is an effective way to shift perspective and produce positive change within ourselves and our families.