Jack was having a really rough day.
He realized that his New Year's resolutions weren't happening. He was getting some feedback from his friends and family that he just seemed to be slacking off on that.
Next, he had his annual review, and that didn't quite go as well as he was hoping it would. It just felt like he was being criticized all the time, and he was getting really frustrated and upset.
It started to feel like everything was against him.....
That’s because he was focusing on the criticism and not on allowing the criticism to be constructive criticism.
What's the Difference?
Criticism can be used to cut down or hurt someone, especially if the person giving it is being very critical and isn't doing it to help but more to hurt. Constructive criticism is cutting down whatever wasn't working before, but the difference is the motivation. With constructive criticism, the intent is to build back up. Criticism simply intends to knock down, whereas constructive criticism knocks down with the intent to remove what wasn't working with the goal to then build up something stronger in the end.
One of the wonderful things about this, however, is that if something is criticism or constructive criticism, it doesn't matter what the intent of the other person is. What matters is how we take that and what we do with it. Even if someone is offering criticism because they're trying to hurt us, there might be some truth to that, and if we can pick out that truth and apply it to ourselves and make changes and reconstruct that part that they're criticizing, we take their spiteful and hurtful criticism, and we make that constructive criticism, and THAT is something we have control over!
Back to Jack...
He was getting all sorts of feedback from his boss. But he realizes his boss is giving him feedback.
So Jack not only meets standards, but exceeds them. And the feedback he's getting from family and friends is not necessarily to hurt him, but it's because they want him to do well; they notice he’s not hitting his own goals.
Jack was able to take a step back and listen to the feedback his boss was giving him; he made the changes, and three months later at that quarterly review, he did fantastic. He was doing an excellent job because he took that information, broke down his poor work performance, and rebuilt it in a positive way. He did the same thing with the feedback on his New Year's resolutions. Even though it wasn't what he wanted to hear, he was able to take that and use it to build up where he was at and get right back on track so he could not only hit his New Year's resolutions but probably hit them early, as well.
Take Jack's approach and sift through the feedback and search for the truth in the midst of the critical comments. Try to use that as a springboard for continued growth!