Magill Counseling Associates, LLC - BlogMagill Counseling Associates, LLC - Bloghttps://www.magillcounseling.com/blogsMon, 16 Mar 2026 18:48:15 -0700http://zoho.com/sites/<![CDATA[Dealing with Difficult Emotions, Part 3]]>https://www.magillcounseling.com/blogs/post/Dealing-with-Difficult-Emotions-Part-3Acceptance doesn't try to eliminate or ignore the emotion. Acceptance recognizes the emotion and acknowledges the impact of it, without trying to change it.]]>

When we last checked in with Jack, he had just received an email from his boss notifying him that they were going to have a meeting at the end of the day, and he didn't know what to expect.

How can Jack manage the situation when he can't directly address the cause of the big emotion or he doesn't have the coping skills that can work in that particular situation? 

This is where acceptance comes in.

What is Acceptance?

There are times, like Jack, when we can't change the thing in our lives that's causing emotional turmoil.  We may not have the coping skills we need for the situation.  When we find ourselves with big emotions and limited tools to address them, acceptance can be extremely powerful.


What is acceptance? 


Acceptance is NOT glossing things over.  It's not saying "everything is fine" and putting on a show and a fake smile. 


Sometimes there's nothing we can do about the emotion, but it's a difficult emotion, and it can get in our way unless we recognize it's there.  Often, the more we fight or ignore it, the bigger it gets.   


Acceptance doesn't try to eliminate or ignore the emotion.  Acceptance recognizes the emotion and acknowledges the impact of it, without trying to change it.

Back to Jack...

Jack got the email from his boss.  He knows he has a meeting coming up.  He recognizes the concern he has for that and the impact it has on him.  He understands that it's really distracting him.  With his realization, he evaluates his day and decides that now is not the time to send an email to someone who might misinterpret it.   He also chooses not to start an entirely new project today when he can't fully focus. 

Jack enjoys his job and wants to do well, but he has no idea what to expect with the upcoming meeting.  By accepting his concern, he can choose how he will perform that day.  He can choose how he prepares for the meeting.  He can choose if he lets it bother him or not.  He knows he's doing a good job and doing the best that he can, so he's going to keep going about his normal tasks and routines and try to have the best meeting he can.  It doesn't remove the situation, but it relieves some of the stress for him.

In managing difficult emotions, first we need to identify.  After identifying the emotions, we need find a plan and address it.  If it's not something we can control, we can try utilizing coping skills.  In addition to this, acceptance is vital.  We need to recognize the emotions and their impact without trying to change anything.


Next week, we'll dive into how having a longer-term plan and knowing what our goals and values are can further help in managing difficult emotions.


The content above is based on the information provided from the youtube video by Robert Magill (see below); it has been edited and arranged by Joy Bundy.

]]>Fri, 18 Nov 2022 23:21:00 +0000<![CDATA[Dealing with Difficult Emotions, Part 2]]>https://www.magillcounseling.com/blogs/post/dealing-with-difficult-emotions-part-2In managing difficult emotions, first figure out what's bothering you. Find a plan. Use coping skills, and find acceptance. Lastly, look ahead to see if it can be prevented.]]>

Recently, Jack was feeling extra stressed after receiving an email from his boss requiring a meeting later in the day with no reason or explanation provided.


Jack examined his emotions to try to determine some of the "why" behind what he was feeling.


He figured out the reasons for some of his big emotions, but what should he do next?


Steps to Take after Identifying the Emotions...

ASK YOURSELF...
1) Is this something that I can control or do something about? 
If the answer is yes, then determine what it is you CAN do about it.  Then develop a plan and take care of it.  Most of the time, once the trigger is addressed, the emotions will dissipate.

If the answer is no, and this is NOT something within your control, then determine what can be done to mitigate the impact it has on you. 

Removing yourself from the situation entirely may be the best option.  Other times, a good strategy is utilizing coping skills.  These skills may look different based on the situation and environment.  Work coping skills may be different than skills used at home or while driving.  The important thing is to find something that you can do to help make the situation a little bit easier. Try calling a friend, going for a jog, or immersing yourself in a hobby.  Even taking a few minutes to slow down and take some deep breaths might be enough to shift your perspective.

2) How do I prevent this from happening again?

Back to Jack...

Jack figured out the "why" behind some of the big emotions he was experiencing.  While the upcoming meeting with his boss was NOT in his control, he chose to utilize some coping skills to lessen the impact of his emotions.  He focused in on his work tasks and other work interactions for the remainder of the day until the meeting time arrived.  He acknowledged his apprehension and anxiety, but after a few calming breaths and creating a plan for his work day, he tackled his tasks and re-directed his focus to the work in the moment and not the unknown in the future.


In managing difficult emotions, first figure out what's bothering you.  Next, find a plan and tackle it.  If it's not something within your control, utilize coping skills and find acceptance.  Lastly, look ahead to determine if there are steps that you can take to prevent a repeat situation in the future.

The content above is based on the information provided from the youtube video by Robert Magill (see below); it has been edited and arranged by Joy Bundy.

]]>Fri, 11 Nov 2022 14:00:01 +0000<![CDATA[Dealing with Difficult Emotions]]>https://www.magillcounseling.com/blogs/post/Difficult-EmotionsEmotions are an integral part of our everyday life. Becoming aware of the emotions and how they interact with our perceptions can lead us to healthy ways of navigating the difficult emotions we encounter.]]>

Jack was having a horrible day.  The moment he got to work, he saw an email from his boss indicating that they needed to have a talk, but no reason was provided.   Jack felt incredibly nervous.  The day continued to spiral downward from there with interactions with his co-workers, and he couldn't understand why.


He was dealing with some difficult emotions that clouded his perspective on everything else.

Dealing With Difficult Emotions...

What could help Jack with his emotions?
1) Recognize the emotion. 
What is he feeling, thinking, or experiencing that is getting in his way?  He was afraid of meeting with his boss.

2) Identify the cause. 
What is causing that emotion? Fear...but why?  Is he afraid of losing his job, getting transferred, maybe getting a promotion that he didn't want, or maybe he just wanted to avoid a potentially uncomfortable conversation.

3) Figure out what is in your control. 
What can he do about it?  CAN he even do anything about it? He can't change the meeting.  He can't change the topic.  Are there things that ARE in his control?

Back to Jack...

Jack got to work and got an email from his boss.  His boss wanted to meet later in the day. 

Jack realized he was afraid about the meeting because he didn't know what the meeting was about.  He also realized he couldn't control the meeting, but what he could do was make sure his performance is where it should be and that he has answers prepared for potential concerns his boss might bring up.  As far as his co-workers, no one else knew he was meeting with the boss later, so he decided to try to go about his day as if the meeting wasn't scheduled.  He needed to focus on his usual tasks until the meeting occurred. 



Emotions are an integral part of our everyday life.  Becoming aware of the emotions and how they interact with our perceptions can lead us to healthy ways of navigating the difficult emotions we encounter.

The content above is based on the information provided from the youtube video by Robert Magill (see below); it has been edited and arranged by Joy Bundy.

]]>Fri, 28 Oct 2022 16:43:02 +0000<![CDATA[Wisdom: What is it?]]>https://www.magillcounseling.com/blogs/post/What-is-WisdomWisdom is not just having knowledge. It allows us to utilize our resources effectively and focus on the most important elements of the situation in order to make the best decision we can in the moment.]]>

Jack is at work, and he is really frustrated.  He has all the information that he needs, and he knows how to do his job.  However, he is really struggling with implementing it.


He faces the same situation at home.  He knows what he needs to do and how to do it, but he's having a difficult time getting it done effectively. 


Jack has the knowledge that he needs, and he knows what to do, but Jack is struggling with wisdom.

What Is Wisdom?

So what is wisdom? 


First, let's take a look at what it is not.  It's not simply knowing something.  Wisdom goes beyond head knowledge and applies what we know in an effective way that cuts through the things that don't matter and aren't as important so that we can get to the underlying root of a problem and address that.


Wisdom can be both very practical and impractical.  It takes an ability to look beyond the surface and process what's underneath of whatever we're facing and to be able to understand that.  It also draws from the guidance and opinions of others whom we trust in our lives and gathering that information.  It is utilizing our resources effectively to make a the best decision we can.

Back to Jack

Jack is at work.  His boss gives him a new task.  Jack has information and knowledge, but now, he also has wisdom.  He understands that this task is important, but it may not be the most important task in this moment.  So he chooses to focus on what is most important at the time, and then later he can come back to the task that his boss just gave him.  He takes what he knows and what he needs to know for the task and cuts out anything extraneous so that he can focus effectively on completing that task and not get bogged down with too much information or bunny trails.  


At home, Jack understands everything that has to get done and why it's important so that he can prioritize when and what he has to do.  Because Jack understands the "why" behind it, he can triage his tasks effectively instead of getting burden or overwhelmed.   Similarly, with his wife, he understands what is important to her, as well as the "why," which helps him to be the best husband to her that he can be.


Wisdom allows him to understand what is needed of him in this moment and how to be able to effectively accomplish it, spending just the right amount of effort that the task should have.  Wisdom allows him to find the balance between completing what needs to be done effectively but not overdoing it so as to become overwhelmed and potentially burnout.



Wisdom is incredibly helpful because it takes what we know, cuts through things that aren't important, and it lets us make a quality decision based on what are the most important things for that situation.

The content above is based on the information provided from the youtube video by Robert Magill (see below); it has been edited and arranged by Joy Bundy.

]]>Fri, 13 May 2022 13:00:00 +0000<![CDATA[Meet the Therapist: Andrea Nuthak]]>https://www.magillcounseling.com/blogs/post/meet-the-therapist-andrea-nuthakAndrea's philosophy and approach to therapy is that the client is the expert of their experience, so her goal is to come along side the client and help process and work through difficult situations in life.]]>
"The client is the expert of their experience, and everyone's experience is valid." --Andrea Nuthak

Join us for a brief interview with our therapists Robert Magill and Andrea Nuthak!  The link to the entire interview is included below.  


Andrea is one of the master's level interns at Magill Counseling Associates.  She is completing her degree in clinical mental health counseling at Lancaster Bible College and is currently in her last year of her program.  Working at Magill Counseling Associates allows her to obtain some outpatient experience in the field. 


She is a board-certified music therapist and has worked with inpatient mental health clients utilizing this.  She is passionate about using music and the arts in her sessions. 


Andrea's philosophy and approach to therapy is that the client is the expert of their experience, so her goal is to come along side the client and help them process and work through the difficult situations in their life.

What Is Clinical Counseling?

Andrea shares that clinical mental health counseling is not about giving advice.  It is about helping people come to a realization about the strengths they already have within them and how to use that to work through their difficult situation.  She also points out that you don't have to wait for something to really be "wrong" to come to counseling.  Counseling is something that anyone can do at any time.     


Rob questioned Andrea regarding the difference between clinical counseling and marriage and family therapy.  Andrea explained how the clinical counseling focuses on the individual one-on-one counseling, whereas marriage and family is focuses on the couple or family dynamic of the relationship.

How Can Music Therapy Help?

Andrea explains some difference in music therapy, such as a passive experience, listening to a song, or a more active involvement, such as going through lyrics and identifying how it relates to what you're going through or how the emotions connect with your current situation.  Music can help the individual with the coping process.  In addition, there's the active music process, such as singing or playing an instrument or creating or writing music.


Andrea finds that the passive process is more accessible in sessions to pick apart lyrics or help clients identify with music passively than actively, while both are effective methods.

In closing, in her own words, Andrea shares, "I am really passionate about helping people find the best way for themselves and the genuine, authentic part of themselves that they know can help them get through some of these most difficult times."


Check out the complete interview below with Rob and Andrea!


]]>Fri, 22 Apr 2022 13:00:00 +0000<![CDATA[Criticism vs. Constructive Criticism]]>https://www.magillcounseling.com/blogs/post/Criticism-or-Constructive-CriticismCritical comments are always around us, but if we can learn to take the truth in the criticism and apply those changes for positive growth, that is something we can take control over!]]>

Jack was having a really rough day. 


He realized that his New Year's resolutions weren't happening.  He was getting some feedback from his friends and family that he just seemed to be slacking off on that.


Next, he had his annual review, and that didn't quite go as well as he was hoping it would.  It just felt like he was being criticized all the time, and he was getting really frustrated and upset. 


It started to feel like everything was against him.....


That’s because he was focusing on the criticism and not on allowing the criticism to be constructive criticism.


What's the Difference?

“One of the wonderful things is....we can pick out the truth even within the criticism and apply it....no matter how they meant it. THAT is something we have control over!"

Criticism can be used to cut down or hurt someone, especially if the person giving it is being very critical and isn't doing it to help but more to hurt.  Constructive criticism is cutting down whatever wasn't working before, but the difference is the motivation.  With constructive criticism, the intent is to build back up.  Criticism simply intends to knock down, whereas constructive criticism knocks down with the intent to remove what wasn't working with the goal to then build up something stronger in the end. 


One of the wonderful things about this, however, is that if something is criticism or constructive criticism, it doesn't matter what the intent of the other person is.  What matters is how we take that and what we do with it.  Even if someone is offering criticism because they're trying to hurt us, there might be some truth to that, and if we can pick out that truth and apply it to ourselves and make changes and reconstruct that part that they're criticizing, we take their spiteful and hurtful criticism, and we make that constructive criticism, and THAT is something we have control over!

Back to Jack...

Jack was having a rough day.   He was realizing his New Year's resolutions weren't working out.   


He was getting all sorts of feedback from his boss.  But he realizes his boss is giving him feedback. 


So Jack not only meets standards, but exceeds them.  And the feedback he's getting from family and friends is not necessarily to hurt him, but it's because they want him to do well; they notice he’s not hitting his own goals.


Jack was able to take a step back and listen to the feedback his boss was giving him; he made the changes, and three months later at that quarterly review, he did fantastic.  He was doing an excellent job because he took that information, broke down his poor work performance, and rebuilt it in a positive way.  He did the same thing with the feedback on his New Year's resolutions.  Even though it wasn't what he wanted to hear, he was able to take that and use it to build up where he was at and get right back on track so he could not only hit his New Year's resolutions but probably hit them early, as well.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Take Jack's approach and sift through the feedback and search for the truth in the midst of the critical comments.  Try to use that as a springboard for continued growth!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      


]]>Fri, 11 Feb 2022 14:00:00 +0000<![CDATA[Starting the New Year off Right]]>https://www.magillcounseling.com/blogs/post/starting-the-new-year-off-rightMake 2022 an awesome year for you. Try to break it down into smaller "bites." Let go of the massive goal, and focus on the smaller goals that support the massive vision.]]>

It was New Year's Eve again.  Jack settled in to write down his resolutions.  He pulled out his list from last year and felt like he was stuck in a causality loop.  He sighed as he glanced at the list: 

Make more money

Spend quality time with family

Buy a bigger house


While there was nothing wrong with his goals, he just felt stuck.  He knew he was about to write down the same list he wrote last year and the same list he would probably write next year.   He just needed a different perspective and a different approach to things.

Two-Fold Approach to Goals

Instead of doing New Year's resolutions, try a two-fold approach to goals.  Have in place your big-picture emotionally-driven vision for your life.  Ten years down the road, what do you want your life to look like?  What is important to you?  Write that down.  From there, think about where you are in this moment.  If you were to push yourself three months from now, what would that look like?  Come up with specific and measurable goals that will get you closer to your vision, and write those down.  


When we think we have all year to complete our goals,  we tend to push things off.  However, if we keep plugging away at our goals in small chunks, a bit at a time, consistently, we will find them achievable and sustainable.  In addition, three months gives us enough time to see if the changes are actually working.  If they are, we can continue with them.  If they're not, we can make adjustments. 

At the end of the the three months, you repeat the process.  You check in and make sure your goals are still in line with your overall vision.  If they are, continue on that course.  If not, see what course corrections need to be made, implement those, and make those changes over the next three months, and repeat the process.  


As we continue to do this, we may find that we reach our goals sooner than we thought because we're not waiting a whole year to find if we've reached our goals or not.  By breaking things into quarters, it allows for a lot more flexibility and freedom and the chance to adjust and adapt.

Back to Jack...

      Jack decided to take a hard look at why he even cared about his particular goals.  This time he jotted down:

      • What he wants to get from life
      • What is important to him
      • What he plans to do to achieve his goals

      If it takes him four months to achieve these goals, then it takes him four months.  If it takes him four years, then it takes him four years.  Either way is fine.  The point is, he's making progress.  This next year is going to be phenomenal for him because he is getting so much closer to his meaningful vision for his life.


      Similarly, make 2022 an awesome year for you.  Try to break it down into smaller "bites."  Let go of the massive goal and focus on the smaller goals that support the massive vision.


]]>Fri, 14 Jan 2022 14:00:00 +0000<![CDATA[Hectic Holidays]]>https://www.magillcounseling.com/blogs/post/Hectic-HolidaysThis holiday season, take time, slow down, and find some meaningful moments in the midst of the whirlwind.]]>




The holidays can be a busy time of the year filled with a lot of pressure and a feeling that everything has to be perfect.  While many things can be good and meaningful, that doesn’t mean that we have to participate in every event!


There’s a saying that “the perfect is the enemy of the good,” meaning that we can be so focused on having everything go perfectly for the holidays that we completely miss a lot of good things that we already have right in front of us.

Take a Moment to Pause...


While this can be a very busy time of year, take a moment to think about what is really important.  Why are we going through this event?  What is the meaning and importance behind it?  Does it add value?  Is it worthwhile?  How can that be the focus of what happens instead of simply being busy?  If it’s not important, what do we need to do with that?  Sometimes it’s saying “No–we don’t need to do that.”  Sometimes it’s finding a way to minimize its impact on our schedule.


While the holidays can be a wonderful time of the year, they can also be overwhelming, busy, hectic, and too full of things.  Focus on what is important.  Focus on what is meaningful and valuable, and watch the unimportant fall away and the freedom that will come from that.   

]]>Fri, 24 Dec 2021 14:00:00 +0000<![CDATA[Thankfulness with Children]]>https://www.magillcounseling.com/blogs/post/Thankfulness-with-ChildrenWe tend to see what we expect to see, and we tend to see more of what we've already seen. Thankfulness helps us change our lens and provides a fresh perspective.]]>

Jack and Jill were having difficulties with their kid.  It seemed like he was being extra stubborn and difficult lately.  


Jack and Jill looked at each other, after sharing an exhausted sigh, and silently mouthed, "Why won't he listen anymore?!  Why does he give pushback for absolutely everything?  Why are simple tasks suddenly a huge battle?"


Jack and Jill's frustrations were increasing.  In addition, their child was noticing the added tension, which, no surprise, added to his tension.

How Can Thankfulness Help the Family?

Thankfulness can be a powerful way to change our environment by changing our perspective.  While there absolutely should be rules, expectations, boundaries, and follow through, thankfulness allows us to take a step back from the frustrations, breathe deeply, and see things with fresh eyes.


We tend to see what we expect to see, and we see more of what we've already seen.  If we're expecting to see the frustration, we'll certainly find it.  Our lens can get "stuck" in the frustration pattern.  Thankfulness can directly counter this.  When we're intentionally looking for things to be thankful for, that becomes the new lens that we start to view things through.     


Practically speaking, trying to find five things each day that you're thankful for, pertaining to your child, can start to cultivate this new habit and fresh perspective.  If you're able, tell your child what you're thankful for.  If not, make a list for yourself of these attributes or actions that you appreciate or admire about your child.  


While this isn't a quick fix or cure-all, with time, this will shift your attention away from the frustration and onto thankfulness.  The focus changes from the problems to the positives.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

Back to Jack...

Jack and Jill had a challenging child.  Interactions were frustrating.  Tensions were mounting.  


So Jack and Jill decided to take a step back from the frustrations of the moment, and they started to notice all of the great things that their child was doing. They were intentional about thankfulness.  They still got frustrated, but they also realized that sometimes their kid was just being a kid.  


Their lens began to change.  The focus wasn't on how things were going to go wrong but on how they were going right.  Sure, hiccups and frustrations still happened, but then they could redirect and move on instead of becoming stuck in the negative.


Their efforts with their kid started to pay off.  Jack and Jill noticed a lot of really great qualities in their child that they hadn't seen before when they were locked in the lens of frustration.  In turn, their child responded positively to their affirmation and encouraging words.

Cultivating thankfulness is an effective way to shift perspective and produce positive change within ourselves and our families.  

]]>Fri, 26 Nov 2021 14:00:00 +0000<![CDATA[Integrity:  What is it, and who cares about it?]]>https://www.magillcounseling.com/blogs/post/IntegrityIntegrity is following through with what we agree to do. This makes conversations simpler and straightforward. In addition, this builds trust, as people understand that they can depend on our word.]]>

Jack's relationship is strained, and Jill is having a hard time trusting him.  


Jack is swamped at work, feels overwhelmed, and is burning out.  To top it off, when he finally gets home from work, he feels like he can't even unwind.  He has to help out with extra projects at home.  


He's been so busy with everything that he's starting to forget what he agreed to do or what needs to be done--both at work and at home.  Everything is piling up on him, and it's all that he can do just to get through the day.


Jill is frustrated because Jack keeps saying "Yeah, I'll take care of that."  But it doesn't get done.  He's not following through.  She feels like she can't depend on him or trust what he says right now.   The extra burden falls to her, and she's feeling stressed and hurt over his lack of integrity.

What is integrity, and how can it help?

“Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Integrity, simply put, is following through with what we say we're going to do.


This is easier said than done.  It can be hard to follow through when unexpected or overwhelming things in life come at us.  It's easier to provide excuses; however, regardless of the reason, if we say we are going to do something, it could be seen as a break of integrity if we don't follow through with our word.


Having integrity builds trust.  Others can depend on us, and that strengthens what we say.  When we say "yes" and mean "yes" and say "no" and mean "no" and stick to that, it makes conversations easier and more straightforward.  Once people learn that we will stand by our "yes," they won't have to hover over us to nitpick or make sure that we're doing the job.  Similarly, if they understand that we mean "no," then they will be less likely to try to pressure or persuade us to change our minds.  This adds to a sense of freedom and clarifies boundaries.  It can also improve relationships because of the trust it builds.

Back to Jack...


Jack was feeling swamped, but he took a step back and realized that he needed to stand by his commitment and live with integrity.  He worked on being intentional.  He stopped flippantly saying "Yep" or "Sure, I'll do that."  Instead, he responded with "I'll have that done in two weeks."  


At first, people weren't particularly happy with that response.  It seemed like he was just pushing it off until later like he had been doing before.  With time, however, when Jack followed through at the time he said he would, the people around him started to notice.  Jack became more organized, and people could count on him to get done what he agreed to.


Jill's stress and frustration levels decreased because she started seeing the new positive pattern with Jack following through, and she realized she could trust him.


As for Jack, his time at work and home became better.  Instead of feeling like everyone was against him, living with integrity allowed for the sense that people were there to help and support him.


Jack discovered that, actually, a lot of people care about integrity.  Following through with our word can have a significant impact at home, at work, and in our day-to-day life.   


]]>Fri, 12 Nov 2021 14:00:00 +0000